"If people saw the real me—the jealous, angry, bitter parts—they would run."
How it sounds in your head: You smile at church and say you're fine, but inside you're seething. You're jealous of younger women, angry at your husband, bitter about sacrifices. If anyone saw the REAL you, they'd be horrified.
"But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
-- Romans 5:8Religious spirit demanding perfection and hiding humanity, making authenticity dangerous.
You've spent decades managing everyone's emotions and hiding your own. The parts of you that feel dark and ugly have been locked away so long you don't even recognize them as human.
Leah was unloved by her husband, jealous of her sister, bitter and desperate for affection. God saw her, opened her womb, and made her the mother of Judah—the Messianic line came through the UNLOVED, JEALOUS woman.
I REFUSE the lie that my real emotions disqualify me from love. IT IS WRITTEN that while I was STILL A SINNER, Christ died for me—He loved me at my worst. My jealousy, anger, and bitterness don't shock God; they move Him to compassion. IT IS WRITTEN in Psalm 103:14 that He knows my frame and remembers I am dust. I am fully known and fully loved. The BARAK blessing covers me even when I'm a mess—I am blessed, protected, and cherished in my HUMANITY. I receive radical acceptance NOW.
The Father isn't waiting for you to become lovable. He's loving the version of you that's still covered in pig pen—jealousy, rage, bitterness and all. He's running toward the mess, not away from it.