"I should be able to control this—I'm too old to still struggle with food."
How it sounds in your head: You're embarrassed that at your age, you still can't 'figure out' eating. Shouldn't you have mastered this by now? You feel pathetic, like a child who never grew up, still throwing tantrums in the pantry at midnight.
"And He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
-- 2 Corinthians 12:9Performance standard that says maturity equals mastery, making struggle evidence of failure rather than humanity.
You've had six decades to 'get this right.' You've read the books, tried the diets, prayed the prayers. The continued struggle feels like evidence you're fundamentally broken.
Moses was 80 years old, stammered, called himself 'slow of speech and tongue,' felt disqualified by his weakness. God said 'I will be with your mouth and teach you what to say.' Used him to deliver a nation—weakness and all.
I REFUSE the lie that my age makes my struggle shameful. IT IS WRITTEN that His grace is sufficient and His strength is made PERFECT in my weakness—not despite it, THROUGH it. I don't need to 'arrive' before He uses me or loves me fully. IT IS WRITTEN in Philippians 1:6 He who began a good work in me will complete it—He's not done, and He's not disappointed with the timeline. I am Abraham's seed, blessed under the BARAK that covered people who struggled their whole lives. My weakness is the place His power rests. I am complete in Christ NOW, struggle and all.
The Father doesn't have a deadline for your breakthrough. He's not tapping His watch saying 'you should be over this by now.' He meets you in the midnight pantry with compassion, not a report card.