"Her marriage still looks passionate—mine is proof I failed at being desirable."
How it sounds in your head: You see the couples still holding hands, still taking trips, still lighting up for each other, and you feel the weight of the years that cooled what once burned. You wonder if you let yourself go, if you didn't try hard enough, if you're just not enough anymore.
"Many waters cannot quench love, nor can the floods drown it. If a man would give for love all the wealth of his house, it would be utterly despised."
-- Song of Solomon 8:7World + religion tag-team lie that a woman's worth is her ability to keep a man captivated, making his heart her responsibility instead of his stewardship.
Decades of messaging told you that keeping him interested was your job, and hormones and exhaustion and real life made you feel like you failed the assignment. You compare your Tuesday to her highlight reel.
Gomer was an adulteress, utterly undesirable by cultural standards, sold into slavery by her own choices. Hosea bought her back and loved her anyway—a picture of God's relentless pursuit that has nothing to do with her earning it.
I REFUSE the lie that my worth is tied to my marriage's passion levels or that his heart is my performance review. IT IS WRITTEN that many waters cannot quench covenant love, and enduring faithfulness is greater than fireworks. I am not responsible for keeping myself 'desirable enough'—I am already beloved by the Father who never grows bored with me. IT IS WRITTEN I am accepted in the Beloved, and His delight doesn't fluctuate with my age or energy. The BARAK blessing over my marriage is not based on comparison to others but on covenant. I declare I am enough, not because I stay captivating, but because I am His.
The Father isn't grading your marriage against hers—He's running toward you with fierce delight, calling you beautiful even when you feel invisible. His love never cools, never fades, never depends on your ability to keep sparks flying.