"Her impulsive spending proves she doesn't respect me as provider and leader"
How it sounds in your head: I'm working my tail off and she drops $200 on stuff we don't need without even asking. It's disrespect. If she valued my leadership, she'd check with me first. Feels like she's undermining everything I'm trying to build.
"So he said to Him, 'O my Lord, how can I save Israel? Indeed my clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father's house.'"
-- Judges 6:15Enemy twisting spending into respect issue, making provision performance about male ego instead of Father's nature
Male identity is tied to provision, her independence feels like rejection of his leadership, and culture reinforces provider = respected.
Nabal was a fool with money (his name means 'fool'), insulted David, and managed finances terribly. Abigail went behind his back with provisions. Nabal died and Abigail married David - God UPGRADED her from financial foolishness to royal provision instantly.
I REFUSE the lie that my identity as provider depends on her submission or respect. IT IS WRITTEN that God called Gideon 'mighty' when Gideon called himself 'least.' My leadership is WHO I AM in Christ, not what she validates. IT IS WRITTEN that I am the head and not the tail, above only and not beneath. The BARAK flows through my POSITION as Abraham's seed, not her performance. Abigail lived with financial foolishness and God UPGRADED her to David's palace.
Your Father isn't measuring your manhood by her spending - He's calling you 'mighty man of valor' while you feel weak. Abigail's bad situation became a THRONE because God's plan doesn't wait for perfect circumstances.