"Because my parents were toxic, I have to set boundaries and cut them off to be healthy."
How it sounds in your head: Every Christian book says it. 'Boundaries.' 'Protect yourself.' 'You don't owe them a relationship.' So I cut them off and now they're dying and I'm drowning in guilt but everyone says I did the right thing.
"But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven."
-- Matthew 5:44-45Religious teaching replacing grace and Holy Spirit leading with formulas and self-protection as primary virtue.
They were genuinely harmful. Every interaction left you wounded. The 'Boundaries' book became your Bible and cutting them off brought relief—for a while.
Married to Nabal, whose name literally means 'fool'—a harsh, toxic man. She didn't cut him off or 'set boundaries.' She wisely navigated the relationship and God Himself struck Nabal dead ten days later, then INSTANTLY made her Queen. She trusted God to handle it, not formulas.
I REFUSE the lie that formulas replace the Holy Spirit's leading. IT IS WRITTEN: I am called to love, bless, and pray—not from obligation but from the OVERFLOW of being loved by the Father. Abigail didn't cut off her toxic husband; she trusted God and He handled it HIS way. IT IS WRITTEN: I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Not through formulas. Through CHRIST. The Holy Spirit leads me in specific relationships—not 'Boundaries' books. I am FREE to love from the Father's abundance, protected by His wisdom, and led by His Spirit NOW.
The Father isn't asking you to become a doormat—He's asking you to trust Him as your defender. He can handle toxic people better than you cutting them off. He's not giving you a formula. He's giving you HIMSELF. Walk with Him in real-time leading, not Christian self-help.